it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
