I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
