If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
