Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
