...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
