u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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