so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
