so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
