I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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