you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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