I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
