you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
