So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize