i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
