an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
