Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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