You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
