nut hugger
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
