covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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