Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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