Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize