The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
