I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
