so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
