i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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