just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
