does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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