So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
