He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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