Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
