5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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