I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
