Sry I called you an 8
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
