i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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