Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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