while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You pole danced in your parka.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
