so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
