Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
