chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
