well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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