I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
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