Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize