You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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