I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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