My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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