i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
