I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
