Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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