Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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