OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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