You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
