I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
