make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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