Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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