But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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