How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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