is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
