there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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